What kinds of conversations only happen in China?
“Have you eaten?” / “吃了吗？” has already been mentioned several times.
What kinds of conversations only happen in China?
“Have you eaten?” / “吃了吗？” has already been mentioned several times.
The most common conversation in China for a foreigner
You: Nihao. (Hello)
A Chinese: Oh, Nihao. Your Chinese is so good!! (Wtf!? this guy can speak Chinese?)
You: Wo zhihui shuo yidiandian (I can speak few words…)
Here are some hottest answers on Quora:
1. Peter Niu:
I had this conversation last year, 30 minutes into a first date. We were both 25:
Girl: “So Peter, how much do you make each month”.
Me: “Um… [an amount]”.
Girl: “That’s not bad. Have you bought a house or a car yet?”
Me: “Neither. I want to invest my income into education.”
Girl: “Don’t you think as a man it is your responsibility to own a house or car?”
Me: “…”
I don’t know just how prevalent this is but all of my male friends in Shanghai and Beijing report having experienced various versions of this conversation, whereas in the UK I’d have found this baffling.
2. Cindy M. Carter：
There comes a knock on the door.
Shui? [Who is it?]
Wo. [Me.]
Shui? [Who?]
Wo. [Me.]
Shui ah? [emphatically: Who?]
Wo ah! [equally emphatically: Me!]
Ni daodi shi shui? [insistently, perhaps slightly-hysterically: Who the hell are you?]
Wo! [Me!]
I’ve had this vaudevillean conversation through closed doors dozens of times over the years, and it never gets old. Most amusing is when the person on the other side of the door is a complete stranger who believes that self-identification as “me” is enough to help you suss out his or her identity. It’s absurd, and yet…I have found myself doing the same damn thing.
3. Rune Rasmuseen:
Two parents in a compliment/response interaction:
A: Your child is very intelligent (ni de hai zi hen cong ming)
B: He’s not, he’s not (bu cong ming, bu cong ming)
It only makes sense in China.
4. Leiming Zhu:
Teacher: It seems you got 90% this time, are you in a relationship?
Me: No. Of course not.
Teacher: Then how come you have fallen back this much? Can you still catch up with us?
Me: Yeah. I just made several mistakes this time…
Teacher: Don’t make excuses! You are not serious about what you are doing!
This always happened when I was in primary school
5. Paul Denlinger:
Here is a conversation which has happened to me fairly frequently. I get approached by a man or woman who is in her 60s or 70s, and the conversation starts like this:
“Are you married?”
“No.”
“Why not? Do you like men instead?”
“No, I like women. I guess I have just not met the right one.”
“How much money do you make?”
“I make xxx.”
“Do you own a house?”
“No, I don’t.”
“You seem like a decent person. Why aren’t you married?”
“I have had some bad luck.”
“Would you be interested in meeting my daughter? She is 40 years old and not married yet. I was wondering if you could meet and become friends?”
By this time, my mind is whirling madly. If agree to meet, their hopes are very high, and if things don’t work out, I will end up hurting them. Time for some honesty.
“If you give me a way to contact her, I will contact her directly and we can have dinner. But I don’t want you to be involved in the process if that’s OK with you.”
“OK. Do you have a recent photo? I will give it to her and ask her. And give me your phone number so that she can contact you directly.”
“Here you go. Thank you.”
In fairness, this kind of conversation has happened to me in the US too, but only among Chinese.
There are a lot of desperate Chinese parents out there.
6. Hannah Wang:
When I was four or five years old, my dad once asked me: “Sweetheart, do you remember where you came from?”
Me: “Um…from mom’s belly?”
My mom: “Oh, you were actually a giveaway when I paid the phone bill at the China Mobile business hall.”
Thanks, mom. You didn’t say I was picked up from a dustbin near our home=.=|||
All I want to say is that Chinese parents seldom tell their children where they’re from seriously, because of the conservative and traditional view about sex.