Foreign males with Chinese girls are a common sight in China. On every online forum, you may read about Western guys dating Chinese women. What if we reverse it?
Seeing a western woman with a Chinese guy is becoming more regular, but it’s still rare, and Western women looking to date Chinese men have little resources.
Understanding the China Date
First, consider why Western woman/Chinese man couples are rare. One is how Chinese men, and all Asian men, are depicted in Western society. Western films often emasculate Asian males. Asian guys are either celibate, pure martial arts heroes or token minorities. Westerners don’t see Asian males as sexual creatures. This affects how Western women see Chinese men.
Chinese relationships are so conservative that even lesbian couples separate themselves into masculine and feminine opposites, T (for tomboy) and P. (for princess). This occurs in the west, but it’s less frequent in China.
What are Western women’s relationships with Chinese men like?
Exclusive?
Chinese men say yes 96% of the time. It’s important to remember that ideas about dating are totally different in China. In the West, dating is seen as something you can do casually (at least in the beginning) (at least in the beginning). Something that will only result in long term commitment or marriage if those feelings develop. It’s entirely normal to date someone without the eventual aim being marriage. However, in China, marriage is an inevitability; it’s not a questions of if, but when, so people are often looking for something stable from the start. Comfort, dependability, getting on well with his parents and being family orientated will frequently take priority over passion, shared interests and sexual compatibility.
This also has a positive since the uncomfortable dialogues and game playing that tend to occur in Western relationships typically don’t exist. They’re your boyfriend if you’re sleeping with them. That’s it.
Chinese guys, particularly those in their early twenties, may be less sexually experienced than you. Myths and prejudices persist in China and the West concerning Chinese men’s incapacity to fulfill Western women’s libidos. Despite being open-minded and educated, he may feel intimidated.
Be mindful of your conservative culture. In China, exes seldom remain friends, so saying goodbye is usually permanent.
Communication differences
China’s communication style occasionally favors brevity. The Chinese avoid conflict and seldom show affection openly.
Chinese men may be less emotional. Even if a Chinese man likes you, it will take him a long time to confess it; he may never say it. Western women may be accustomed to more blatant shows of adoration. Western women who have encountered this dilemma say they had to inquire directly whether the man loved them. When dating, one lady asked her now-husband to kiss her.
Chinese males exhibit love by taking care of you, for example. Many Western women are confused when Chinese men carry their bags, pay for everything, and take them shopping, even though her salary is much higher. Texts and calls advising “wear more clothing” and “don’t come home too late” are common. This might be condescending to an independent-minded lady. They’re merely showing they care.
Chinese guys are often attentive, courteous, and compassionate, and will aid you anytime you need them.
Family-owned
You’re dating his family and all their expectations when you date a Chinese guy.
Chinese families are distinct from Western ones. When you reach a certain age, you and your parents are regarded, if not equals, at least as adults. In China, parent-child roles are tight, thus while dating a Chinese man you’ll need to conform. His mother might make or ruin your relationship.
If you commit to the relationship, your boyfriend’s family will be a large part of your life, if not bigger. If you’re liked. Not all parents will want their son dating a foreigner; they may fear you’ll take their kid to live on the other side of the planet. Even Eikenburg, who wrote about her joyful marriage to a Chinese guy, wasn’t welcomed immediately.
Indigenous
Dating a Chinese guy allows you to learn about China and join a dedicated family. Being part of a society that values ritual, tradition, and ceremony means you’ll learn true Chinese food and speak better Chinese. In a nation of 1 billion, not everyone will be the same. Each relationship is unique, even those with Chinese men.
Cultural differences are difficult, but not insurmountable. You may make up for any challenges caused by your differences by learning from each other and sharing unique experiences. You must be aware of what you can and cannot compromise on. Be principled, yet prepared to make compromises, such as wearing couples’ clothes in public.